Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Practical tips for relationships

One thing that I’m finding extremely important is that a person should prepare for a relationship before they’re even in a committed, steady or marital relationship. So, that’s what we’re going to talk about today.

Now, I’m no expert when it comes to relationships. In fact, I can probably tell you all kinds of things NOT to do when you’re in a relationship, but what I do know is that you must prepare yourself. When I say prepare, I mean “be ready” for the spouse God has for you before you actually meet the person.

How do you do that? There are several different things that you should try to have in order. Most are relevant for both men and women.

The primary thing, before we go any further, is having a strong relationship with God. That means regular prayer, worship, praise and fellowship. Relationships – especially marital unions – can be the most trying of your life. Why is that? The devil doesn’t want the marriage relationship to succeed because it’s ordained by God.

A girlfriend of my recently voiced it this way, “If something great wasn’t going to come out of the relationship then it would be a piece of cake!”

How many of you have heard of Prophetess Juanita Bynum? Well, Prophetess Bynum had a sermon called No More Sheets and she has a book of the same name. It has been more than six years since I’ve seen the video, but some of the preparation things she spoke of have stuck in my mind.

One thing is ensuring you have your financial house in order before you get married. It may not be practical to have zero debt – although that should be the goal – but do not enter into a marriage with a lot of financial baggage. If you don’t know how to balance a checkbook and are incurring a lot of fees then learn how to do it. If you don’t know how to stick to a monthly budget then take a debt management class. If you have consumer debt then work with a financial planner to get it paid off. If you don’t know anything about savings and investing then do some research and start some savings and investing plans that will benefit your future.

Do you like to eat? Then there’s no reason you shouldn’t be able to cook. I’m talking to men and women. You don’t have to be a gourmet chef, but you should know how to prepare some general meals. Men, let me ask you a question, what are you going to do when your wife is sick or recuperating from having a baby? Are you going to expect her to be able to get up and cook your meal, feed herself and any children that you may have? And, be realistic, it isn’t always practical to eat or order out – it’s not cost effective either.

One word to a small group of ladies I’ve been coming across lately: What’s with not knowing how to cook? I’ve encountered several adults who still live with their mothers and they don’t know how to cook. Now cooking isn’t everyone’s gift, but you have to be able to provide for your family that way so although you don’t have to know all the ends and outs, grab a cookbook and follow the directions to prepare dinner for your family. Ask your mother or a trusted friend for advice and recipes or take a cooking class.

That leads into general housekeeping abilities. Even if your wife stays at home or works from home, men should still be competent enough to take care of the house and assist in keeping it clean and orderly. Pick up after yourself, etc. And, women, general housekeeping knowledge is a must.

One of the most important things, if this applies to you, is to get rid of any soul ties that you may have. Let me explain, soul ties exist when you’ve had sex outside of marriage. Every person you’ve ever slept with has left their mark on your soul and it’s important to pray to God for help in cleansing that from your soul.

You don’t want to be in your marriage bed comparing your spouse to someone from your past. You don’t want to be doing something in your marriage bed just because someone from your past enjoyed it. … I think you get the picture.

As I’ve said before: I’m no expert on the ends and outs of relationships. But, like most people, I do have some general knowledge to share that may make things a little easier for you. Just because you’re celibate doesn’t mean you shouldn’t prepare for your spouse.

Happy preparation.

"All married couples should learn the art of battle as they should the art of making love. Good battle is objective and honest -- never vicious or cruel. Good battle is healthy and constructive, and brings to a marriage the principle of equal partnership." Jane Austen


Anonymous said...

great advice!

Petula Wright said...