Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Just say it: Masturbation!

… I had an interesting conversation with a young man concerning self-gratification (and you know what I mean) as it pertains to being a Christian. I could not speak expertly on the subject nor could I find any reference in the Bible. I did however remember a Pastor/Psychologist who spoke briefly on the topic. In a nutshell, he did not say it was sinful and wicked. He did say it would be adulterous if the individual was married and envisioned someone other than the spouse while accomplishing the act. Can someone shed some light on this topic? -- TF

This comment was made by a friend of mine and I’d like to bring the topic to the forefront for a minute, which will hopefully result in a conversation on your thoughts and teachings. Let’s talk about “self-gratification” in detail.

Self-gratification, or masturbation, is a very hot topic among singles. For most individuals who engage, or indulge, in this behavior they find themselves somewhat addicted and are doing it on a regular basis. In all honesty, if you’re spending a lot of time – or any time for that matter – masturbating then your mind is not on God.

Some people believe that it’s impossible to masturbate without picturing someone or something sexual, which is committing adultery. Others believe an occasional sexual release is okay. But there is no biblical basis for masturbating.

In fact, God shows in His word that man (including woman) is able to withstand until marriage without having a “release.” Check out 2 Peter 2:7-9 where Lot was surrounded by sexual sin and wickedness. Lot didn’t succumb.

Really you should let Jesus be your ultimate example: He was a 33-year-old virgin who never gave into temptation.

Many people interpret Genesis 38:8-10, where it talks about Onan spilling his seed on the ground, as God’s message against masturbation because what Onan did displeased the Lord.

Despite the rumors that men spread about it being harmful or some scientific basis arguing the necessity for sexual release, single individuals must turn to God when faced with temptation and stand on His word for support.

I like what God says in Psalm 119:9-11, which was revealed to me by Ty Adams in her book “Single, Saved and Having Sex” – taken from the New King James Version:

"How can a young man cleanse his way? By taking heed according to Your word. With my whole heart I have sought You; Oh, let me not wander from Your commandments! Your word I have hidden in my heart, That I might not sin against You."


"Face your deficiencies and acknowledge them; but do not let them master you. Let them teach you patience, sweetness, insight." – Helen Keller

31 comments:

Horny Old Guy said...

What a bunch of nonsense! Masturbation is normal, healthy and fun, one of the joys of life in fact. If the Catholic Church allowed priests to have sex, at least masturbate, it wouldn't be in the moral and financial ruin it is today. Some people are truly living in the dark ages and I truly feel sorry for them...and you! I'm sure you won't allow this comment to be published but it's something I had to say! God bless us all, including the masturbators (and that definitely includes me!!!)

Petula Wright said...

Dear, Horny Old Guy! Not only are you mistaken about my not posting your comment, but you are mistaken in my perception of the subject. From a biblical standpoint, if one is keeping one's mind on God (as it says in scripture) then masturbation is not an issue. From a biblical standpoint, it is not acceptable. This has nothing to do with living in the dark ages.

If one has accepted Jesus Christ as their Savior then He (Jesus) will be their moral indicator. Thusly, no one will have to tell them if it's right and wrong. They will know whether it is right -- or wrong -- for them.

Thanks for your comment.

A note on commenting: Please keep all comments respectful.

Tony and Kim Moore said...

Although, the Bible does not seem to address and take a position on masturbation, it is found in a broader category that scripture is definitive about: Taking Matters into Your on Hands! The bible never endorses us serving or pleasuring ourselves! In fact, when Jesus had an opportunity to serve Himself, He declined. Perhaps we need to think about masturbation along these lines.

Josh said...

Petula is correct, masturbation is an affront to the value of relationships and a drain on spiritual thoughts. Fortunately there is a simple answer - modern chastity belts are comfortable and hygenic. With the key kept safe by a responsible person, there is no possibility of engaging in this pernicious habit, or indeed in sinful sexual relations outside marriage. Wonderful friendships with the opposite sex are possible with the knowledge that lustful thoughts will not be able to be fulfilled.

Anonymous said...

Anyone who would resort to a chastity belt is insane. Leviticus clearly says that ejaculation simply leaves on ritually unclean for the evening, the same as marital sex The Bible is otherwise silent on the issue, and the Onan story can only be interpreted as being about masturbation by someone with eithr an agenda or very poor reading comprehension skills.

This guy is sensible about Christians who masturbate...
http://www.articlecity.com/articles/religion/article_751.shtml

Masturbation is an important skill for understanding one's body. Too many women don't enjoy sex because they're not ebcourged to masturbate and learn about they like. I am a male virgin, and I would be hesitant to consider marriage with a woman who does not enjoy maturbating. It indicates someone who is going to consider sex a chore and want it only as many times as she wants children, rather than the holy communion of marital love that it is.

The fact that God provides women with a clitoris is proof that God wants women to enjoy sexuality, and the berst way to do that is for her tp educate herself by masturbating.

Jesus never said anything about masturbating, since he obviously didn't care about it. The abuse of the Onan passage is clearly about giving the cuhurch power over people by keeping them feeling guilty, comparing them to wholly different activities.

Of course the mainstream Christian interpretation of Jesus as a sacrficial lamb is antithetical to the Bible, anyway, because God ordered the Hebrews to stop blood sacrifices, saying that they no longer please him. Jesus needed to die so that He could show us ressurrection!

Anonymous said...

http://www.internetchurchofchrist.org/pearl-masturbation.html

Here is a great article. This minister says calling masturbation a sin is elevating man's law to God's law, and therefore you are sinning by calling masturbation a sin.

Spitfireatme said...

I think masturbation is difficult to figure out these days. I don't think the Bible clearly prescribes or denounces masturbation, but it does lay some groundwork for consideration, especially as regards lust. From my experience with positive psychology, I realize that pleasure does not lead to happiness, and that has been a motivation for me to become totally abstinent. It seems senseless though to give up masturbating, which is seen in American culture as a healthy thing that feels good and prevents diseases. I think that the main reason people don't quit masturbating is because they cannot defeat those arguments. But I have finally realized that there are reasons to not masturbate or indulge in sex. Sex feels good, but that's no reason to engage in it; I try to only do things that are healthy, and I don't simply eat food because it tastes good. One can also challenge the health benefits - prostate cancer can be prevented for men through proper diet and exercise, and plenty of antioxidants. Heart disease can also be prevented with the aforementioned. Thus, there is no biological necessity as some purport to show. Indeed, at least for guys, plenty of vital minerals, vitamins, and protein, etc. are lost in sex; how can sexologists be recommending sex with no limit to how often one can engage in it? There is a limit to how many times I lift weights per week (three), so how responsible is it to recommend unlimited sex as being healthy? I think our post-Sexual Revolution culture is influencing our science, because it has not been shown that sex is necessary, and thus there are probably other reasons why it is encouraged and recommended: it is profitable, difficult to control, probably has less negative health effects than most habits, addictive and therefore easier to justify than fight, etc. I'm just surprised that there is such a total lack of dissent as to sex's role in our lives these days.

Tanya said...

The Bible is quite clear that we are here on this Earth to suffer. This is why the Lord gave us such powerful and involuntary hormonal influences leading to libido - in order for us to struggle with them. Righteousness is to be found only in pain and as such, pleasure or even "relief" is therefore evil!
Jesus said "come to me and I will give you rest - however if you are not willing to comply - I will burn you in Hell - FOREVER - because I love you UNCONDITIONALLY."
So you see, "love" is actually a euphamism for "suffering." As soon as you understand that, you will be able to comprehend the faith more clearly.
Sexuality exists only for bringing children into the World, independent of their own request so that we can subject them to the same agonizing struggles, for the pleasure of our loving God.
Embrace sadism and you will be a good Christian.
God bless you all!

Anonymous said...

I am 68, single and live alone, still feel guilty about masturbation, I want to masturbate to relieve the tension that builds up in me so much I get a head ache with the desire for the release. I do not believe it is a sin, I will never get married or have any more kids so what in God's name is wrong with it? I just does not make sense to me!

J. said...

keeping your semen helps you attain a spiritual enlightenment.

Controlling your sexual desires makes you over power the mind's worst enemy "lust".

Sexual desires is a perverted version for our love for God (use your sexual energy to make God Conscious children)

Semen has great vitamins that nourishes your whole body when you keep with in.

A drop off semen is equal to 64 drops of blood.

Anonymous said...

Show me a guy who says he never masturbated and I will show you a liar.

Anonymous said...

Some Interesting but perhaps not all are very informed comments I don't think.

For a start it is perfectly and totally possible to masturbate while keeping ones mind on God, and in a place of worship too Him, while loving in a 'pure' way on one's physical body. I do that regularly as I feel the need to. WHY? Because masturbation is a way to lovingly connect with your physical self and is in no place in Scripture ever even addressed.

Some of us who have suffered abuse have rejected out bodies, and lived with the need to punish ourselves and our physical bodies. We felt we needed punishment and that our physical/sexual bodies were evil, sensual and sinful, so that it was wrong for our bodies to feel pleasure or comfort especially sexually!

For years I suffered like this and heard some wrong teaching about masturbation that reinforced that, so I always sort to not personally fulfill that need and tried to live in denial of my physical, sexual needs. As I have never married, it meant many long years often of struggle and guilt if I did not succeed and gave in to the urge to release the sexual tension I was experiencing.

In only the past few years have I come to understand that as a NEW CREATION born again from the very DNA of my Creator God, that my whole Being, including my physical body is Redeemed, including my sexual feelings and desires. So to release these God given tensions and desires in a pure way IN HIS PRESENCE has bought me into a whole new freedom of both His Love to me and in my ability to love myself in a righteous way!
I no longer live in guilt and shame fighting off desires to punish myself, rather I feel a deep acceptance and Love from God and like wise for the first time towards myself.
Praise God!:)
I hope my sharing this will help some who struggle as I used to do.

Maurd

Anonymous said...

keeping your semen helps you attain a spiritual enlightenment.

Controlling your sexual desires makes you over power the mind's worst enemy "lust".

Sexual desires is a perverted version for our love for God (use your sexual energy to make God Conscious children)

Semen has great vitamins that nourishes your whole body when you keep with in.

A drop off semen is equal to 64 drops of blood.'
hello there j.
where in medical literature did you find this. please give me the reference. semen has no vitamins and our body does not derive nourishment from it. it is always produced whether one has sex or not and it is always relesed (even if u don't masturbate) in the form of nightfall. in today's era of hiv it is much safer to masturbate and fulfil desires than resort to unsafe sex.

Melvin said...

I can't picture Jesus masturbating. Unless it is integrated into sex, a gift of each spouse to the other, it's done out of purely selfish motives.

I learned from personal experience just how badly masturbation can affect one's life, along with its sister sin, porn. In the past I've stayed awake until 4 AM trying to satisfy my lusts and have my fill of noxious images. (Proverbs 27:20; see also vv. 16 and 18). The two sins of porn and masturbation always seem to go together. Am I right?

To Horny Old Guy, every time I feel my body react to sexual stimuli, I remember that I've only to wait for the hormones in my blood to subside without fixating on my present thoughts. Fixating only prolongs the bodily response. If I occupy my mind with something else, after ten or fifteen minutes all is well.

To the poster with headaches, there is help for that. See a physician.

The Apostle says in 1 Corinthians 9:27 ". . . I drive my body and train it . . . ." The Amplified reads, ". . . I buffet my body . . . ." Masturbation seems more like indulging than buffeting. Where is the discipline in that? St. Paul disciplines his body not because he hates it. How can we hate the flesh? It's part of us! No, St. Paul disciplines his body so he will not lose it in the 2nd death but get it back glorified in the resurrection.

If we really love ourselves, we won't mistreat our flesh, exploiting it. We will, rather, respect our own bodies and those of others, regarding them as the temple of the Holy Spirit, which we are! Which of us would break a temple window to use its glass to cut out coupons? Don't we act similarly when we express semen simply to flush it into the sewer? It's not respectful. Those are living cells from your body being thrown away!

Let's not forget that our 2 most powerful weapons against the temptation to masturbate are prayer for grace in the midst of the struggle (Matthew 26:40-41; Philippians 4:13) and consideration of the consequences to self and others. (1 Thessalonians 5:6-8 re: faith and love)

How many have been late to work because we couldn't focus on the task of showering without unnecessary interruption? How many of us have objectified others and surprise(!) ourselves, by reducing us and others to mere body parts? No other activity I can imagine narrows focus from the whole person, to just a penis and a hand. All other thoughts fly out the window, so to speak.

FYI, I am posting this response after resisting a temptation to masturbate. Rather than give in, I did the second worst thing, seek to justify my sin by searching for "can celibate masturbate". My search led me here. Clearly, I have an answer for myself, but that didn't stop me from seeking a way around that answer. Thanks to God's grace, I am no longer tempted, today, and have not given in to sin. I have NOT masturbated. I'm approaching a month of freedom from masturbation, but I don't count days, as that would make me want to violate chastity once I pass a milestone. I should say about a month, which is pretty good for me. Not bragging; just grateful!

Tanya, quit playing around! Joking about matters of faith in the spirit of ridicule is most unwise!

To the anonymous poster who said that he or she masturbates in a place of worship, I ask you, rhetorically, where is this place of worship? I cannot imagine fellow worshippers approving and not saying something to you! What you describe sounds a bit, shall we say, LaVeyan? I've been on the Devil's side, and his worship changes one quickly and profoundly! It's really shocking how quickly it changed me! Please, test the spirits! (1 John 4:1) This is just a friendly warning from one who cares for you!

Peace to you all!

Petula said...

Melvin, Thanks for adding your thoughts/comments to this post. I'm glad your search led you to something that would reaffirm your commitment to your choice. God bless you on your path.

Thanks for everyone who continues to wonder by Single and Celibate. In fact, Melvin's comment may have me begin updating here again.

:-)

servant1 said...

I'm 26 years old, and un married so I do not have sex. I believe God wants me to be single for service to Him. Celibacy is A GIFT! U can't force people to be single no more u can force people to be a preacher. If the catholic church could grasp that well they'd have better leaders. But, if I do marry, to keep from masterbating, then I'm out of Gods will, and hurting a person for sexual desire. So ill keep single, and try my hardest not to masterbate. Unsuccessfully.

Anonymous said...

I came across this site on a random search about masturbation. I'm 26 years old and unmarried. I've learned to be a selfish guy after being rejected by girls for most of my life. Naturally, I've gotten onto masturbating. It's easy, cheap and I don't have to worry about getting a girl pregnant. Even though I feel even more lonely when I do it, masturbation is all I got. God alone can't satisfy my phyiscal needs. He can't hold my hand on a Friday or Saturday night. God hasn't struck me down with lightening for masturbating.

Anonymous said...

I'm a 26 year old christian male. Tanya on here made a lot of sense about struggling in life. I struggle everyday being a single male. I've been single all of my life and it sucks. All I have to keep me sane is masturbation. As long as God has not "struck" me I will continue to do it. What's the big deal? I'm not bothering anyone by doing it. I've been rejected by girls all of my life so naturally I've become selfish.

dubz said...

masturbation is totally normal, acceptable behavior, if not a phase. just don't go overboard with it; that it is equal to ten drops of blood is a chinese proverb, i believe. i think it does contain quite a bit of nutrients, as a matter of fact, not to mention it symbolizes your essence. it is not impossible to go without masturbation, if you put your mind to it. ever hear of mind over matter? have faith.

Anonymous said...

Dear Petula,

Your reference to Onan's sin is a popular but incorrect interpretation of Bible. Onan was not masturbating, but practicing coitus interruptus.

Petula Wright said...

Thank you everyone for your continued comments. I appreciate you added your prospective on a subject that is a continued topic of singles' conversations worldwide. It's also a subject that most married folks have as well. Don't be discouraged, however. I would say to have some type of control when it comes to masturbating. It can become very addicting and as you go through different phases in life the urge can be overbearing and overwhelming. Good luck and take care.

Anonymous said...

What about wet dreams?

Bravo2uniform said...

I can't believe this post is 7 years old. I just found this researching celibacy, abstinence and masturbation. Great post and great comments.

Anonymous said...

Thanks everyone for your heart felt convictions on this subject. I Have been struggling with pornography and masturbation for years and after indulging my flesh I am always convicted by the Holy Spirit. I know in my heart it is wrong. When I was dead in sins and an enemy of God, when my spirit was not ruling over my mind and flesh I was a slave to sin. I did that which I felt was right in my own mind with no conviction. I was spiritually DEAD! Through Gods love and grace for me he gave me the gift of eternal life through his son Jesus. I am born again of t he spirit now! I have been purchased by God through the sacrifice of Jesus on the cross. My body is not mine anymore, my body is the temple of God. The word of God says, So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. Gal 5:16. The spirit must rule over the mind and the flesh. Easier said then done! Thank God we are saved by grace! Or no one would make it to heaven. How then do we walk in the spirit? Read the word of God! Everyday! Memorize the scripture so you can fight off the devil. The word says, " I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you." Psa 119:11. Its warfare, the flesh and the spirit. Satan and temptation. Gods grace is sufficient for me! I will stumble and fall, but God will sustain me. Fight the good fight brothers and sisters! If you haven't asked Jesus into your heart today, he is just a prayer away...cry out to him and he will save you! God bless all



Anonymous said...

Being a human being brings with it a lot of challenges and no easy answers and I respect anyone thinking about the issue of masturbation. As I am aging I don't do it much anymore but its a strong urge for people and we have to be okay with it either way. It might take a person a long time to work it out with themselves. Life is a process and a journey and I believe god loves us regardless.

Keli said...

Loneliness and rejection from girls, and rejection from guys, on my end, a lot of times leads to people being upper 20's, I'm 27, and haven't married, nor do I have any possible people to get to know/marry. It takes time, and it takes a job and life skills to move out... I haven't developed social skills nor life-skills, but I do try to.

In the mean-time, I have occasionally masturbated because it is something to release some frustrations and it produces some euphoria to get through intense loneliness and empathy/emotional ties to people tends to be a burden and the spiritual gift of mercy sometimes requires God's mercy and encouragement. Being there for others and not receiving encouragement in return is harder than it looks.

I agree that it is not good to be addicted or for it to be all you do, but when there's so much you do, and then to not have companionship with a physical person, it's hard.

And I finally understand what a friend meant by fellowship/ needing it.

I believe I should marry, but in absence of arranged marriage, it's not likely without real help. The Holy Spirit is powerful in my life, I've seen friends come to Christ due to the friendship I have with them. I am very loyal to multiple people, guys and girls. Is it wrong to expect even one of them to be loyal to me? I have absolute loyalty and love for people.. But it's harder to not give something back to myself for my own time and take care of myself in Christian service. Yes, Christ didn't serve Himself. I put others first all the time, but I believe that we as Christians, particularly now in the last days, we need to seek strength from God, we need strength and mercy and grace and we need to be strengthening ourselves for the battle in the Spirit. The flesh body isn't going to matter, but the battle is the mind and Spirit and heart. If we are emotionally drained, and if it is emotionally draining to masturbate, we shouldn't do it, but if it is something fulfilling, then do it. We are arguing over debatable matters.

Petula Wright said...

There are a couple of anonymous commenters here since the last time I came by. Again, I'm so happy you guys have found this blog and are able to talk about this important subject.

Bravo2uniform, I'm glad your research brought you here. In the past I've done a lot of writing on the subject and I decided to start this blog. The celibate and single topic just became too narrow for me.

One commenter asked about wet dreams. Wet dreams are a natural release for a young man... actually women have them also, but may not realize it as there is no ejaculation. If you'd like more details or a better understand please check WebMD.

Keli, I'm glad you're aware of what's going on with yourself and have found a "happy medium" so to speak. When I come back here to comment and see who has been by I have to be careful of my wording because when I began this blog it was basically from a strict Christian perspective. My viewpoint has changed somewhat, but I still believe in this principle for those who are and chose to live this lifestyle.

Talk amongst yourselves. :-)

Anonymous said...

Why do you say Jesus was a virgin and that he never masturbated? No where in the Bible does it say Jesus never married, and no where does it say he never masturbated.

Anonymous said...

So glad to see some of the young people on here have such healthy attitudes. It is a good thing our culture has made progress on this, but sad there are stil so many people either 'born too soon' to enjoy the benefits of that, and still so many harmful beliefs among others. Not to mention the barbaric practices against women- such as 6,000 girls and even infants every single day who have their genitals mutilated, usually without anesthesia, her clitoris is cut off in a way that is comparable only to cutting the penis completely off- seriously if you want to see some progress on sexuality the best thing you can do is work to BAN FEMALE GENITAL MUTILATION AND TORTURE GLOBALLY, all African nations must be obliged to enforce such a ban, under threat of sanctions, because global human rights must be the priority for Christians. This horrendous practice is currently done to most women in Africa so we have a long way to go.

Anonymous said...

You write: Really you should let Jesus be your ultimate example: He was a 33-year-old virgin who never gave into temptation.- Why do you leave the obvious unspoken. In the context of what we are talking about would you not include the fact that Jesus did masturbate. OH My! what a sin to say that! Nonsense. Jesus ate food, slept,drank water, urinated, made a poop, right? He had a body just like anyone else, why then will people not just admit, that by 33 he also had masturbated, be it with a clean sinless mind. What is wrong with that? It is just a body function, people. It is your thoughts and other junk associated with it that will get you in trouble with God.

Manniiie Amp said...

Sometimes its hard to face reality even though I love God with all my Heart , soul, mind & strenght. Im 24yrs & used to masturbate a lot but realised its not solving anything. I feel lonely most of the time.. especially when its summer cuz all i see is beautifull God created girls & couples enjoying the sun. God saw Adam feeling Lonely thats why He gave him Eve. so why me Lord? Every man needs MOTIVATION!!! cuz life is hard
To me masturbation is like drinking alcohol or smoking weed to solve your problems. it makes it worse. We are all sinners but only human & can neva compare ourselves to Jesus. Read & understand the Bible. In Anything u do pray & ask The Lord to have mercy on you & let him know how u feel. its not somethin u want but.. Even though is hard u still gotta be able to smile in Jesus name Amen!