Oh the webs we weave

My husband and I recently attended a seminar, which discussed marital relationships and how to enhance them – specifically in the bedroom. Well, I’m not going to go into detail about that, but I will tell you that there were a couple of comments made by the female presenter (they were a husband and wife team) that gave me pause.

Before you think I’ve run amiss; keep reading… this really does have something to do with being single and celibate.

The couple seemed to be very traditional in nature. What I mean by that is most of the references she made were as if all the women stayed at home and didn’t work and, most interestingly, was something I alluded to in an earlier post and that is that a man MUST ejaculate or they are so uncomfortable that they can’t survive!

I bring this up not to dispute my own viewpoint that masturbation or some sort of sexual release is necessary, but to once again bring to the forefront that there is no biblical basis for this. It is true – as she said that her husband taught her – that men will in fact have a wet dream after a certain number of days (she quoted 21, I think).

But this is in no way the end of the world or the death of a man if they aren’t able to “relieve” themselves. Okay, now wait one minute AGAIN before you think I’m off on a tangent: I am in no way saying that it’s okay for a married man to have to “go without” for 21 days or longer. Although I do think there are certain circumstance that may warrant it and they won’t die from it if that were to happen. Including extreme sicknesses and illnesses, the death of a spouse, incapacitation, lengthy business trips, strict bed rest… you know, things of that nature.

What I am saying is that we must stop relying on scientific evidence to make excuses for a lack of self control. We must put our faith and trust in God that He is our ultimate source, provider, healer, etc. I am a firm believer in God’s ability to heal an area that needs healing. God is able to keep a woman, who hasn’t menstruated in years, in perfect health even though there is medical basis or scientific proof – whatever you want to call it – that a woman needs to/must expel her menstrual fluid.

That may seem like an extreme example, but you get my point.

Okay, I’m finished with this subject for now. Join me next time (Tuesday, the 1st… yes, for real, on Tuesday) so we can talk about some fun stuff like practical dating tips!

I don't necessarily agree with the following quote, but it gave me a little chuckle so I decided to include it...
It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and the wrong sort take a mean advantage of them. --P.G. Wodehouse (1881-1975) The Man Upstairs (1914)

Keeping it real

I wanted to bring your attention to the comment from Pastors Tony and Kim Moore (http://www.radicallove.blogspot.com/) on the July 11th post. Here’s what they wrote:

Although, the Bible does not seem to address and take a position on masturbation, it is found in a broader category that scripture is definitive about: Taking Matters into Your on Hands! The bible never endorses us serving or pleasuring ourselves! In fact, when Jesus had an opportunity to serve Himself, He declined. Perhaps we need to think about masturbation along these lines.

Amen!

Want to comment on comment? :-)

The following comment was made to my previous post:

What a bunch of nonsense! Masturbation is normal, healthy and fun, one of the joys of life in fact. If the Catholic Church allowed priests to have sex, at least masturbate, it wouldn't be in the moral and financial ruin it is today. Some people are truly living in the dark ages and I truly feel sorry for them...and you! I'm sure you won't allow this comment to be published but it's something I had to say! God bless us all, including the masturbators (and that definitely includes me!!!) -- Horny Old Guy

Just wanted to share and get your feedback on what this "gentleman" said. You can check out my response to him in the July 11th comments. By the way: I never said masturbation is un-normal, unhealthy or not fun! But I don't know about it being "one of the joys of life." An-t-way... check out what I said and give me your feedback.

Just say it: Masturbation!

… I had an interesting conversation with a young man concerning self-gratification (and you know what I mean) as it pertains to being a Christian. I could not speak expertly on the subject nor could I find any reference in the Bible. I did however remember a Pastor/Psychologist who spoke briefly on the topic. In a nutshell, he did not say it was sinful and wicked. He did say it would be adulterous if the individual was married and envisioned someone other than the spouse while accomplishing the act. Can someone shed some light on this topic? -- TF

This comment was made by a friend of mine and I’d like to bring the topic to the forefront for a minute, which will hopefully result in a conversation on your thoughts and teachings. Let’s talk about “self-gratification” in detail.

Self-gratification, or masturbation, is a very hot topic among singles. For most individuals who engage, or indulge, in this behavior they find themselves somewhat addicted and are doing it on a regular basis. In all honesty, if you’re spending a lot of time – or any time for that matter – masturbating then your mind is not on God.

Some people believe that it’s impossible to masturbate without picturing someone or something sexual, which is committing adultery. Others believe an occasional sexual release is okay. But there is no biblical basis for masturbating.

In fact, God shows in His word that man (including woman) is able to withstand until marriage without having a “release.” Check out 2 Peter 2:7-9 where Lot was surrounded by sexual sin and wickedness. Lot didn’t succumb.

Really you should let Jesus be your ultimate example: He was a 33-year-old virgin who never gave into temptation.

Many people interpret Genesis 38:8-10, where it talks about Onan spilling his seed on the ground, as God’s message against masturbation because what Onan did displeased the Lord.

Despite the rumors that men spread about it being harmful or some scientific basis arguing the necessity for sexual release, single individuals must turn to God when faced with temptation and stand on His word for support.

I like what God says in Psalm 119:9-11, which was revealed to me by Ty Adams in her book “Single, Saved and Having Sex” – taken from the New King James Version:

"How can a young man cleanse his way? By taking heed according to Your word. With my whole heart I have sought You; Oh, let me not wander from Your commandments! Your word I have hidden in my heart, That I might not sin against You."


"Face your deficiencies and acknowledge them; but do not let them master you. Let them teach you patience, sweetness, insight." – Helen Keller

Not on purpose.

I chuckled when I typed that title. My reason was to explain that I've been sick for the past seven days, which has prevented me from keeping up with all of my responsibilities. Thus: I didn't break my word "on purpose."

It's funny how often we'll use that excuse. You know what I mean: "I didn't do that on purpose." It could be "hurt your feelings," "lie to you," "put a dent in the car," "not wash the dishes" and yes, even "have sex!"

However you add it up; it's still an excuse. I should of just said: "Forgive me. I wasn't able to keep my word."